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Sunday, November 05, 2006
Mummy knew it all. I just felt the need to confide in her. No matter what happened, she's my mother, my dearest confidante. Related to her the incident and she was upset over it. I could tell it from her expression and words. Talked to me about it, asking me to give up on a guy who plays with a girl's heart. Not worth my time waiting for. Bro was backing her up and both of them were right. I couldn't contain it anymore. I just cried. Mummy wanted to let daddy in on this matter which i begged her not to. She said daddy was in a better position to counsel me on this. I guess she's right but by that time i'm sure i will cry till my eyes pop. Girls are vunerable in affairs of the heart. I am no exception. Putting on a facade all the time can be a tiring chore. Eventually, i will still break down. And i did this time round. It's too much for me to handle. My first time ended with a bad experience. Studying this morning had been a tough job for me for i had to concentrate doubly hard to get those points through my head. I lacked focus and concentration which will definitely affect my studies if i don't learn how to get over it fast. Haiz... If only you told me how you felt towards me instead of leading me on and on, i will be thankful even if it's a negative answer. I've came too far to let it go so easily. The memories will haunt me till the day i get over you. It's been a pretty long journey and i treasured those times we had together. I still do. You shall be my first and my last in poly. Life just has to move on, some day some how...
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