{[Perfect Escapade =-.]}

It's a brand new week! Experienced a slight tremor on Monday. At that moment, i thought it was just me, having dizzy spells from staring at the desktop and straining my eyes. Everyone evacuated the building. Well, taking this opportunity to slack. Haha...

Work's been pretty good. At least i enjoy working on this job more than auditing. But still, i miss my seniors in EY. Spotted 2 EY colleagues on the way home. Reminded me of the days in EY. Painful yet fulfilling. How ironic.

Just these two days, i experienced familiar flashes of my dreams. Dreams which were made up years ago but are etched somewhere at the back of my memory. Somehow or rather, they came alive. It seems odd that dreams actually come true. Well, and i was dreaming of places which i've never visited before.

First, it was with Stephie. We walked past a temple somewhere in Cityhall as we were heading towards Timbre. The gates, stone lions and walls of the temple just fell into place. Everything was exactly the same as what i had dreamt.

The second occurred on Tuesday while i was tearing the posting sheets from a customised printer. Just then, a lady in purple sweater walked past me. And yes, this occurred in my dream too. Just that the lady wasn't the one i imagined to be. A far cry from my imagination. The rest of the details fit in.

The third happened today while i posted the journal entries. The accounting segment that was staring back at me was identical to the one in my dreams. And for that split second, the actions were similar as well.

It sounds unbelievable but it's true. I was fairly disturbed by all this weird occurrences. They came rushing back to me at an instance. And no, it's not déjà vu for it never happened at any one point in my life before. Alright... shall not freak out the readers of this entry. Since my dreams do come true, will sweet dreams that i have every once in a while come true too? Haha... Oops.

Kbox session once again! Finally applied for a kbox membership after a year or so? And it's free! Wonder what the benefits of having the card are. Accumulating points and discounts at certain locations? Clueless...

Anyway, it was with Dave and Chris - my best buddies. My throat croaked at several songs and screeched while hitting high notes. Had a good laugh over it. We had our fair share. Ahem...

K lunch bento sets were sold out and we had to make do with our lunches at S11. Had the famous mini wok which caused side effects later during tennis.

We could hardly play though it's been an hour since we ate. Extremely exhausted and had to take a break. Didn't play well at all. Been lousy with my shots which frustrated me.

And some issues arose, aggravating the frustration in me which turned into moodiness. I knew it wasn't intentional. The problem laid in me, unable to curb the escalating anger. Well, at least i got over it after spilling it out to my buddies. You guys rock! Thanks dudes!

Symptoms:
Laziness.
Dread to work.
Feeling unaccomplished.
Do not look forward to tomorrows except weekends.
Harbouring negative thoughts all the time.
Feels like crumbling.
Life feels empty...

Description:
I had always wanted to be a grown-up since i was young for all i looked forward to was the working life. It seemed interesting and fulfilling. However, that was a naive thought.

Having been through internship, i tasted the transition between study life and working life. It was no easy feat. I hated waking up every single day, dragging myself to work - to face the routine tests and reviews. Though i love numbers, audit really sucked the soul out of me.

Now, taking on a temporary job at a bank, the politics and colleague's [just one colleague]unwillingness to teach, left me helpless. I retreated into my own world, completing all work assigned and topics never got beyond work issues. I was cut off from the outside world, unable to surf the net nor chat online. That sucked. I wouldn't be surprised if they had the impression that i'm autistic.

Again, internship and the real working world are two separate things. It's harsher and more complicated out there. The first few years of work will definitely be living hell....

How i wish time could come to a standstill. I don't wish to know how my future is shaped... at this moment. I detest the fear and lack of confidence that's engulfing me.

Other Possible Causes:
Post Attachment Syndrome?
Laziness?
Unable to detach myself from studying life?
No intrinsic nor extrinsic rewards?

Will i love or hate my future?
I actually harboured the thought of dying young...
What's awfully wrong with me?

Just before i stepped out from my house, the loud clashes of cymbals and drummings drew me to the windows. Looking down to the empty grass patch 4 units directly below mine, a large crowd had already gathered, unconsciously forming a circle around the props and performers.

And yes, it's the lion dance troupe engaged by the unit on the second floor. Well, it's actually their lion dance troupe for the males in the family are part of the troupe. With that, i manage to watch free performances yearly. Haha..

There were two "lions", with the first pair dawned in golden and red costumes while the second pair dawned in black and yellow costumes. It was pretty amusing to watch the performers swaying and moving to the beat of the drums. One of the perfomers was well, severely obese and he was the controller of the lion's head. That was one lion which seemed to lack mobility. The other was jumpy and agile like an excited lion ready to stuff itself with the offerings laid out properly on the grass.

To be honest, i pretty much enjoyed lion dances amid the thunderous clashes of cymbals and beating of the drums. A once a year affair which naturally lifted up my spirits.

Later on, one of the performers hoisted the lion dance troupe's flag up high and performed several stuns. It was 4 storeys high! The tip of the flag was eye to eye when i looked out of the window. Probably i'm short yeah?

I was running late for tennis once again. Hurriedly put on my shoes and out of the house i ran. Luckily the earliest only reached 15 minutes before me. Phew.. Haha. Tennis was a short affair. All of us, or perhaps just me, seemed to be out of sorts. Extremely bad shots. Once frustrated, all the shots would go haywire. And it happened yesterday. Oh well...

Myth:
Heavy lunch causes early to mid afternoon tiredness.

Fact:
Every human being experiences early to mid afternoon sleepiness regardless of the lunch portion one takes. This is the resultant of circadian rhythms which dictate the period of time our bodies are geared for sleep. In layman terms, it is the biological clocks which attune our bodies to experience sleepiness. Similarly, circadian rhythms cause human beings to become tired between midnight and 6am. So, it's not the fault of the food but the biological clocks.

Wednesday:
Mid morning, i headed down to Bugis with Mummy to pray. It was a pretty short affair and not long after, we brisked walk to the nearest food center to buy lunch. On the way to the MRT station, we popped by Seiyu to get some tako pachi. Babe's favourite. =)

In the late afternoon, i had an interview at a private bank. Accounting terms and banking terms are totally different. They sounded alien to me. Lacked confidence in handling stuff which i am totally clueless about. Take for example, what's IT procurement? Anyone to enlighten me? It was a good offer but i decided to try out Thursday's interview instead.

Thursday:
As mentioned above, i had a morning interview to attend to. This time round, it was a telecommunications company. Lots of Caucasians!! But there are so many applicants for this job, i doubt i can get it. At least this was more towards the accounting side and hence not too much of a trouble trying to grasp the job description and job scope. Well, hopefully i can secure it but definitely not pinning high hopes for the competition is strong. The very most, i'm fated to relax and enjoy the 6 months. Haha... which is unlikely.

Tennis in the afternoon. Played till i was tired out, so restless to run after the drop-shots the opponents gave. The resultant of lack of exercise. Nevertheless, it was good to sweat it out. Lots of fun. =)

Had to rush home for night praying. I seem pious, don't i? Well, actually not. Haha.. I was reminded to reach home earlier to help out in praying the heaven. Lots of Chinese customs we gotta adhere to... Even i'm confused by it.

And yes, it's Valentine's! No valentine for me but haha.. i got a prezzie too! Thanks dude! You know who you are. :D Lots of couples take today as an opportunity to express their love and perhaps exchange their yearly endearments to each other. How sweet.

I was quite tickled when i saw male youngsters carrying bouquets of flowers ready to present it to their other half. Some of them were in groups and even compared their presents. But it was really sweet to see so many happy couples tonight. Pair by pair, hand in hand. Awwww... Haha..

Unknown to myself, my tolerance level has been dipping lower and lower. Tolerance in terms of patience... tolerance in terms of anger management...

I flare up pretty easily when there are minor hiccups. Well, internally... not expressively. Just afraid that all hell breaks loose one day. Nasty sight, it definitely will be.

Perhaps the limit has been reached. After so many years, I've just swallowed back all the negativity. I suppose it has peaked. Wonder how long more i can hold back...

Like every other human, I have feelings as well. I do feel hurt, i do feel the sting. Just that i silently administer the wounds and the pain. Many a times, I know I had been used. Used for their benefits, taken advantage of... I've had enough.

Others before self? Or self before others? Sometimes, i perform the latter and feel the guilt of it all. Destined to make others happy?

The day started out fine until this guy ruined it. Turned up for a "job" interview at Recruit Express with Stephie and Soonie only to walk away pissed off.

Mr. M displayed an unprofessional attitude right after the salary negotiations. Whatever you wanna say, dude. You are upset because you couldn't earn our commission. I'm upset because i couldn't get a job which i intended to have. Isn't this just a case of unsuitable jobs? Was there a need to make things sound so nasty? Call yourself a consultant? My foot. Practice some professionalism please.

Let's analyse. I'm living in Yishun and the job offer is at Buona Vista at an hourly rate of $6. That sums up to a monthly pay of $960 without deducting Mr. M's commission and CPF contributions. There is a need to work OT since the job is on accounts. Travelling to and fro would already take up almost 3 hrs. What's more the transportation costs? Worth it all? I would rather stay on in EY than work for this unknown company. And he further mentioned that the company has been desperately looking for a temp staff but to no avail. Hello, know the reason why?

Later on, at the next Recruit Express, i was offered another with a pay which met my expectations and was far better than the first in many other ways. Lady luck's shining on me if i lay my hands on that job.

On the way back, i stopped by AMK to meet up with the three musketeers [Dave, Chris and Eugene]. Chatted about our application for the Universities as i watched them play Virtual Tennis in the arcade. After they had enough fun, we walked to the bus stop to await for our bus.

While waiting, screams and shouts rattled across the busy roads. Many turned their heads to witness the brawl at the pavement. A lady was struggling to get away from her husband [i suppose] who was holding on to her tightly. Less than a minute later, she grabbed and thugged at him, amidst her cries and shouts. No idea what was going on except that it attracted a huge crowd of people. Shrugs.

I need a little something to appease my seething anger over the "insult". Grrrr...

It was almost a year before we met up again. Dezhi, Pamela and i caught up over lunch at Fish & Co. All of us had grilled salmon and both of them had an additional jungle freeze. The food was not bad, its salmon being more succulent than Manhattan Fish Market's.

Both Fish & Co. and MFM's menus are almost similar. Who's imitating who? Both specialise in their seafood platter serving exactly the same spread of seafood, from prawns, calamaries, oysters to fish. Hmmm...

So lunch was a pretty short affair for we had a movie to catch. It was CJ7. Simply putting it, CJ7 doesn't have much of a storyline, with the show revolving around Dicky, Dicky's dad and last but not least CJ7, somewhat similar to those green squishy slime with Po [teletubby]'s antenna attached to its furry tou fu head.

On the whole, the movie was hilarious having its ups and downs. There was a teary part as well, and i heard sniffings around. Haha.. A lady sitting a row below me was dapping her eyes with tissue. That's how touching it got.

For i had to get home in time for dinner, all of us left for home. So sorry! Nevertheless, it was good to see them again. =)

What if it rekindles and create turmoils again? I fear its occurrence. I've lived through it once and will not allow it to happen a second time. Recently, it found it's way back in. Stopped myself in time before it delved deeper.

A step forward would see me falling ocean deep again. Re-surfacing this time round would be near to impossible - a point of no return. Not anymore.. please. I was and still am enjoying the freedom of my heart all this while. I wouldn't want emotional struggles to repeat itself. Once was enough. Not a second time. It hurts... I know it will.

Just like every other year, my family and i visited my grand uncle and proceeded on to my maternal grandmother's place. Recent new years had been quiet and boring, which we naturally expected to be the same this year.

However, there were several surprises which truly made our day. Dua yi, Jess and my Kuay Bu came. Weeee~ Had lots of fun in the newly built balcony. And there were two little imps to play with, allowing time to pass much faster.

There's the food too. Tau gua with leek, chap cai, pig trotters with stewed eggs, stewed pork and duck soup. There was a new addition to the menu this year - chicken masala. Still, i prefer the home cooked food. Yums~.

Really glad that ah ma was happy. It was heartwarming to see her beaming all day long. Later in the evening, there was a mahjong lesson for the ADULTs. Haha, interesting isn't it? My aunts and mum were trying to master the ultimate art of mahjong playing. It's tough man. Till now, i am thoroughly confused with the different combinations of tiles and how the chips are calculated for each win.

That more or less summed up my first day of the new year - a much happier one. =)

Friday:
K box session once again! To be honest, i love singing though i can't sing well and am a little addicted to k box sessions. Just a little. =x

This time round, bro, sis and i went together. We had mini Gary Cao, Jay Chou, JJ Lin and Wang Lee Hom concerts. They were killers. After 5 hours of singing, our voices were hoarse. Bro and i had difficulties speaking, evident from our voices.

K lunch was a surprise. Japanese rice with a choice of breaded fish or fried chicken, mushrooms, cold dish jellyfish and for dessert, we had honeydew jelly. Pretty fantastic huh? Considering it a package priced at S$12++ per head.

Chris, Dave and i sang our hearts out. Bro can't sing for shit. Hahahaha!!! Oops, i'm a meanie beanie. The previous statements made were not true. Bro could hold several songs pretty well. Those that required screeching, please pass the mic on. Chris can sing, without surprise. At times, his voice blended in with Jay Chou's and i could hardly tell the difference. Mine's hmmm... still sucked as usual.

Though we stayed for almost 5 hours, we had lots more to sing. We even held a mini Jay Chou concert, rattling away his songs like nobody's business. Time was up and bro didn't have a chance to embarrass me with Gary's Superwoman. It was the next song! Phew... Blessing in disguise. I will never sing Superwoman in K box ever again. I will screech and go off pitch. It's terrorizing.

We left the freezing cold room and headed to school. Unfortunately, the drizzle started again and never once relented. Giving up after waiting for more than an hour, we went for dinner. I wanted something light for i was hungry and dinner was awaiting me at home, so i ordered claypot chicken with spring onion. Shucks, cost me $6. Pain pain pain...

Seniors (Liting & Rina) gave me a lunch treat at The Coffee Club. Thanks! I had baked rice with chicken cubes but wasn't really the ideal type of meal for me. Too cheesy. Meiling joined us too. Really happy to see her. One of the seniors i truly respect.

The following day, the NP interns were treated to a departmental lunch. It was slightly pathetic for only one senior manager joined us for lunch. The rest were nowhere to be seen. At Figs & Olive, it's menu carried mainly western cuisine. The set lunch was pretty delicious. The main course came with 3 choices, of which i chose the Chicken Pesto Carbonara which made up of spaghetti, chicken thigh and baked potato. Accompanying it was a drink and dessert. Only the food was worth the $$, not the ambience nor the service.

Afterwhich, we hung around Raffles Place and took some pictures. In fact, alot of pictures...

High spirits, looking forward to 5.30pm when all of us can knock off and celebrate. Since i was at my client's place in Wheelock Place, my senior (Liting) rushed down from the office to NYDC just to have lunch with Rina and i. Awwww.. so sweet of her. Haha, and they treated me to a mudpie: "Grandma goes nuts... Seriously". Yums~ Had baked rice again, this time it's at my own expense.

Very soon, it was 5.30pm. However, i was still assigned tasks to do. Only knocked off at 6.45pm with the rest of the interns. Since Stephie and i were joining Winnie and gang, we went by foot, thinking that it was the one nearest to our office area. God knows, it was at Cityhall. And we walked under the light drizzle for an hour or so before arriving at the correct outlet. My feet was literally screaming in pain and my throat was quenching for thirst.

Shared 2-of-a-kind fish and chips, as well as stuffed mushrooms with Stephie. The portion was too huge for both of us to finish and Dickson kindly cleared them for us. Haha.. Had a really nice glass of Shirley Temple, tried a little Lime Margarita which irritated my tastebuds. Oops, just don't like the taste of alcohol sliding down my throat. =x

There was so much joy and laughter all around. Finally got to meet up with the gals, Sherlin, Baoyi and Soonie. Thanks for the present Soonie!

Managed to catch the first performance from a live band. I then knew how much i liked that sort of ambience. Food and music with the bistro cafe decorated in a rainforest theme. Now did i realise i forgot to introduce the place. It's Timbre. Ought to give it a shot.

That marked the end of my attachment. Time for a good rest before embarking on my next journey...