Friday, February 22, 2008
Working Blues

Symptoms:
Laziness.
Dread to work.
Feeling unaccomplished.
Do not look forward to tomorrows except weekends.
Harbouring negative thoughts all the time.
Feels like crumbling.
Life feels empty...

Description:
I had always wanted to be a grown-up since i was young for all i looked forward to was the working life. It seemed interesting and fulfilling. However, that was a naive thought.

Having been through internship, i tasted the transition between study life and working life. It was no easy feat. I hated waking up every single day, dragging myself to work - to face the routine tests and reviews. Though i love numbers, audit really sucked the soul out of me.

Now, taking on a temporary job at a bank, the politics and colleague's [just one colleague]unwillingness to teach, left me helpless. I retreated into my own world, completing all work assigned and topics never got beyond work issues. I was cut off from the outside world, unable to surf the net nor chat online. That sucked. I wouldn't be surprised if they had the impression that i'm autistic.

Again, internship and the real working world are two separate things. It's harsher and more complicated out there. The first few years of work will definitely be living hell....

How i wish time could come to a standstill. I don't wish to know how my future is shaped... at this moment. I detest the fear and lack of confidence that's engulfing me.

Root Cause:
Unknown.

Other Possible Causes:
Post Attachment Syndrome?
Laziness?
Unable to detach myself from studying life?
No intrinsic nor extrinsic rewards?

Cure:
Undetermined at the time entry was published.

Will i love or hate my future?
I actually harboured the thought of dying young...
What's awfully wrong with me?

Me

Loves

Wishes

Chat

Past

Dar'links

credits