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Friday, December 12, 2008
I teared. Out of remorse for not being able to fulfill my duty as a granddaughter. Out of pity for the state she is in today. And out of sorrow for seeing how much she has weakened over the years. A decade back, we were in no doubt she would live for another 20-30 years, given her hale and hearty condition. But the situation today seemed otherwise. According to doctors, her days are numbered... The once robust her suddenly turned into a frail-looking old lady whom i could no longer recognise. Seeing her curled up in an awkward position due to her bed sores really pained me. In her hand, she clutched on tightly to a towel, never once letting go of her grip. It was almost impossible to pry open her fingers. Furthermore, she could hardly register our faces when we greeted her. All she did was stare back at us with dreamy eyes. Every now and then, she dozed off, awakening at the slightest sound. From a loud-mouthed her, she could not even mumble a word now. The only response she made was shaking her head. My heart truly went out to her. Surrounding her were several medical equipment. One of which was to moniter her heart rate and blood pressure. The beeping sound of each heartbeat was a consolation. It frightened me during times when the beeps lengthened longer than they should. Her heartbeat was erratic which worried me alot. She shouldn't be leading this life. Really, she shouldn't be. She deserved a much better life but sadly she chose this route... 13 years ago, my maternal grandfather passed away. This was the one and only time where i experienced my loved one leaving me. The taste of permanent loss has since long left me. And i'm not ready to take on a second any sooner, or even forever. I'm afraid. Very afraid. I hate the sight of people whom i love leaving me. I then realised how easy it was to recollect the past yet disturbing to look into the future when it's full of uncertainty whether i'll even live past tomorrow. Posted by Lynette at |
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Me Lynette Lee Capricorn NTU (NBS)Loves FamilyFriends Food Tennis Wishes Healthy family and friendsDo voluntary work More clothes and shoes! Chat Past September 2005October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 Dar'links LinksBaoyi Dave Dezhi Dickson Edison Elaine Erwin Huiling Jocelyn Leonard Mingyang Pamela Qiqi Sinned Stephie Teresa Weisiong Yizhen My New Blog Friend credits Designer Eric SimPictures Foto Decadent Brushes and Textures Hybrid Genesis, Misprinted- Type, and Eric Sim Pattern Squidfingers |
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